gotta love poussey
If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.
the older u get the funnier spongebob becomes
what the fuck is wrong with ths bird why does it have sexy legs for strutting
well you can tell by the way i use my walk that im a womans man no time to hawk
I’ve met some pricks in my time but you are the fucking cactus.
im so PUMPED about fall!!!!! ill wear 500 sweaters i dont care ill shove a whole pumpkin up my ass
Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation
Albus is 17 and loses his virginity in his room and forgets the snake talks to his dad and when Harry gets home the snake is all like OH MY GOSH YOU’D NEVER GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT HAPPENED
the funniest thing in twilight is when bella thinks that the guy she has a crush on might be a vampire so she goes home and just googles the word “vampire” it’s ridiculous but also exactly what I would do in that situation